Wall hanging series made by my son and me for a small, local art show. 

The whole holiday season snuck up on me this year. Well, it typically does, but this seemed reckless. 

It's all good, I mean, I got everything I needed to get done. Some of it got pushed to the last minute, which is honestly why I did not contribute to the blog last week. I got sucked into the undertow of Christmas stress, and my blog post was one of the things that did not make the cut. It's not something I'm necessarily proud of; however, I am fine with making a decision that respects my needs. 

This is a weird week, though, right? The schedule gets all unorganized; we are not eating regular meals; you're never sure if the place you need to go will be open; you're overwhelmed by the awesomeness of the gift pull; and there is this post-Holiday haze, only to be met with a huge party night in a week. It's the press-and-hold reset for the year.

It might be my favorite week of the year. 

Nearing the end of December means an assessment is approaching, so I start thinking about where I was this time last year. The New Year's resolution concept has shifted to setting a new intention or approaching a chronic issue from a different angle. I play my life out one year in advance and see where I would like to be, which helps me set my intention or goal, which tends to be aggressive and forward-thinking. This sometimes involves fighting procrastination and seeking inspiration to stay motivated. I noticed a pattern: they are connected to self-improvement, something I refuse to give up on and have been passionate about since I can remember. 

It's been a wildly successful approach!

Some of the things I've learned so far about myself are that I can't force an idea; sometimes I need it to blossom before it comes together. I've also learned to be okay with waiting until inspiration strikes, knowing that when it does, it is strong and fast. Sometimes the universe withholds vital information, and doesn't release it until it is time to finish a project truly. 

Sun study

I've shared some insight on my transition from a graphic designer to a mental health ambassador as a single parent, and that was by far one of the boldest moves I have ever made. There are so many shifts in my life that resulted from that one decision that I've completely lost count of all the benefits.

The 2025 version of reflecting on my path, my year, and the year to come leaves me in a brand-new space, relaxing after another amazing day as an artistic therapist. Or am I a therapeutic artist?

Whatever I decide to call myself, I know that I am me; I have embraced my authenticity and make confident decisions based on my truth. I am me for the first time ever, and I am confident to trust myself. I have transformed my life and myself so drastically that it is hard for me to remember who I used to be.

I do not have the words to describe how much I love being a trauma psychotherapist. Diving into suppressed emotions and connecting how they influence our daily decisions is a technical journey for both the therapist and the client. It's technical for me because I need to watch for keywords, connections, references, and other clues, then feed that into the most appropriate and helpful therapeutic modality. 

It's technical for the client because it provides new information about something they believed for so long. It’s comparable to someone telling you that switching the hot and cold water lines on a faucet is necessary for guiding you toward a better mental health space. It seems completely unrelated, and you're being told to trust the process, whatever that means...

Sun mandala

Your muscle memory (thought-->feeling-->action loop) may be distorted, patched, and poorly configured. The formation of your muscle memory is not something you can control, and therapy helps you untangle it. The good news is that once the muscle memory is recalibrated or reset, new skills and thought patterns begin to form and blend into the background. Suddenly, small changes begin to appear almost invisibly because they're just enough to notice. 

Every small change and subconscious shift adds up to changed behavior, which generates different responses and outcomes. The healthy cycle then continues, clearing out space. With all this newly cleared space, you begin shifting your target and will likely stumble upon a positive life event without expecting it.

Wow... I can roll on a subject I am passionate about. Like, dangerous rollercoaster roll.

For the first time in my life, I am where I want to be. I am who I want to be. I am living the life I want to live.

It started during a life event of my own. I looked at my life, and I decided I deserved so much more than my current situation. I knew right away I had to drop everything and begin training to become a therapist.

This self-improvement rippled through my life. The small daily changes I began making, no matter how tiny, all integrated and changed my path to where I am today. I can see changes in my clients, and I know it's because of something I am doing right. Change is not easy. There are few things as gratifying as seeing your client make progress towards their goal.

Roll-up utility case

I have never felt so comfortable in my skin. I have never felt so confident in my skills.

The education was difficult, the hours were very long, and it was worth every ounce of time and effort. I was in the most significant life change I've ever experienced while training to help people navigate their own. I was in the trenches of life for longer than I would like to accept. 

But it didn't matter. I knew it was right because it was confirmed many times throughout my authenticity journey. My training complemented my life experiences, my life experiences enhanced my training, all of which merged well with my healing process and creative background. 

You never know where trusting the process can take you. It may go so well that you become inspired to switch the hot and cold lines on the remaining faucets in your home.

When we have the courage to stop avoiding our symptoms, we will discover that the healing process is not what we were imagining. The process has become extremely gratifying, shedding years of difficult, complex emotions that had nowhere else to go.

I would be lying if I said there was no pain involved; however, it pales in comparison to the benefits of processing it.