This is the first artistic wall hanging I made. I didn't even see the elephant in it at first. 

This is the first one. Like, the first-first. I know this because it is built all wrong, making it a piece I could never sell. Also, its connection to my journey makes it invaluable to me, so I honestly would never want to sell it.

But not this one. This one will always be my baby. I will never repair it, because it is, and always will be, perfect just the way it is, and that is what makes it my favorite. It will always be displayed in a sacred space, such as a bedroom, studio, or office.

The success of the project was built up in stages. I was testing my ability to go with the creative decisions in my heart and see where it takes me. That alone signified evolution. Then I actually liked the finished project! And it's an elephant? Mind officially blown. 

I love that elephants keep showing up. So how did the elephant announce its appearance in my life? It was a slow build to a powerful, explosive finish, and I will start at the beginning...

My son gave me a necklace for my birthday, a beautifully colorful elephant, just days before a massive transition in my relationship with his father, my now ex-husband. I put it on immediately and thanked my son with a hug and a kiss, tears of gratitude streaming down my face (and I somehow didn't connect crying over a gift might mean I'm a sensitive person?). 

Little did I know that in a week's time, everything about my life would be different. 

I still love it today.

The necklace was a bonding point for us, and I wore it for years. He would see me wearing it, and be proud that he is the one who got it for me, and I loved that. I played with the necklace constantly, sliding it back and forth on the chain and running my fingernail over the enameled colors on the trunk. I couldn't quite understand it then, but it sparked something in me that would grow much larger.

I've kept a journal all my life, and I began sketching quilt ideas alongside the writing as a way to unwind. It became a great way to add colors and see if it would work if I brought it to life. One day, we were chilling, and the ideas began flowing immediately, then this happened.  

Nothing can replace my sketch/journal notebook, by far my best and most effective coping tool.

I stopped and stared at it. A simple, seemingly meaningless scribble—and I knew it was the one; there was just something about it. Something just... spoke to me. I knew it was about to get interesting.

I was early in my authenticity journey at this point, and I continued to follow it as I was defining my artistic style. You get projects like this, where everything clicks, once every couple of months or so. Then you follow that lead to the subsequent boundary-breaking discovery. I followed through; pieced it, assembled it, quilted it, finished it, and displayed it. Everything about how this wall hanging came together was wonderful and fulfilling.

It took me a few days of rotating it and rehanging it to see the elephant's profile, but once I did, I couldn't unsee it. Then suddenly, I connected the trauma to the elephant, the journey, the creativity, and the therapy all at the same time, and it became one of the most profound moments of my life. I began examining the fabrics I used and thinking critically about how they were assembled. This wall hanging offers deep significance to my life experiences and journey.

Fear of letting go was the only thing that kept me hanging on. I validated my choices. I let myself flow with the vibe.

In the end, it became an expression of my life, my journey, and my experiences. I am fulfilling my desire to pay it forward by helping others thrive beyond abuse and trauma. 

I really like elephants. All things elephants. 

Looking back, it was easy to see that the moment he gave me the elephant was when everything started changing. So elephants are deeply integrated into my life, and I've received positive feedback about how special others find them. 

It's expanding. It has evolved to stuffed elephants, embroidery, a changed business name, ornaments, and more.

The stuffed elephants are among my favorite things I make. I designed the pattern to have a unique string tail and big, floppy ears. I love everything about the elephants! I make bears, too, but I think I prefer the elephants.

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What's significant about the number 33?

You may remember in my authenticity post that I have strong spiritual interests and beliefs. There are several ways to use numerology to research your path and purpose in this lifetime. Well, one of my numbers is 33, and it just spoke to me, so it stuck. 

Working through our trauma is one of the best gifts we can offer ourselves. For me, exploring a traumatic childhood and abusive adult relationships meant a complicated journey of uncovering and processing the pain. It's difficult to understand unless you've experienced an abusive situation yourself, and if you have, you know the pain. 

Trauma therapy lowers the volume of the impact of traumatic events in our lives, and often we are able to mute it completely. Artistic expression helps facilitate this process, and I always keep my drawing supplies nearby to feed my creative inspiration.