This is one of the first wall hangings I completed. I had a strong vision from the start, and the palette came together with ease, which is often a good sign from the universe that it will be successful.

The stripes are meticulously measured, marked, and pieced, then ripped out and redone if needed, until everything is perfect-perfect before moving on to the quilting. The structured, calculated stripes are set against this fresh and clean white space, with an open-air vibe. Even the quilting offers a sharp contrast. I saw the potential of the intense rainbow and the open white space around it, and I knew that a whimsical, free-flowing cloud design would be a perfect contrast to lines so structured they were measured and marked.

I am in love with how it came out, and I'm glad I put in the effort. I like the design because it's how rainbows and clouds appear in the sky. It arrives only after a whirlwind of various elements coming together all at once, in a particular way, on such a large scale, and that is an amazing and beautiful thing. I love the subtle serendipity: sunshine after a storm, when it hits the sky just right, can create this fantastic, fleeting, awe-inspiring sight that disappears as quickly as it appears.

I was also lucky enough to learn a valuable lesson from the experience. I decided to look at my work analytically (Shocking, right? I know), or maybe it was more on an objective level, and figure out whether what I'm creating speaks to me. This led me on a wild ride to explore my authenticity freely.

I spent hours navigating measurements, colors, and planning. It was exhausting. I began to wonder who I am honing in on perfection for. Turns out, it's self-imposed! Like, what's up?

And perfect in terms of whaaaat... I'm not sure. Math? Markings on a ruler? Making this wall hanging was an excellent reminder to check myself. And I'm glad I did.

Realizing that I was approaching the artistic process through a technical lens shifted my entire perspective. I was making a quilt small enough to hang on the wall rather than a piece of art. It helped me understand my values. Technical, open-minded, intellectual, free-spirited, detail-oriented, and easy-going.  

I am both parts of the quilt. It may qualify as a self-portrait.

Authenticity is a common theme in my work, whether it is a reference to quilting or to therapy. So how does authenticity show up for me in this scenario? Dropping my fear of something not being perfect and following through with a design that speaks to me. I suppose it's possible to lean on perfection when we are forced to do things to meet or exceed others' expectations. This will ultimately lead to the loss of our authenticity. 

The rainbow softly represents the therapist in me. I take mental health and being a therapist very seriously, in a fun way. I advocate strongly for all members of the LGBTQIA+ community because we should all be so lucky to have the courage to live our lives authentically. I also have a passion for helping those with neurodivergency, because they are super sensitive, sometimes misunderstood, and doing the best they can out in this unknown world. 

Colors are connected to trauma work because trauma is rooted in emotion, and colors support our emotional self-expression. This is the foundation of the connection between mental health and creativity. One of the best experiences as a trauma therapist is seeing creative self-expression help my clients with processing their trauma. With the proper creative assignment, it can bring up a memory that needs to be processed to clear a wider path for you. 

The white space represents my chill side. I'm sometimes shocked by how easy-going I am. Relaxation is a genuinely fun activity for me.

This is one of the most significant sources of trauma, that is, making choices to please someone other than ourselves. This goes hand in hand with being authentic and getting rejected for the disclosure. If our actions depend on gaining someone else's approval, we end up in a place where we cannot thrive, because that is not where we are meant to be.

We all encounter barriers to living authentically, and if you cannot be yourself, it directly impacts your mental health. Such as a shutdown of emotional availability, putting high-level needs on hold, and insecurities that don't belong to you. It's toxic, and everyone deserves more than that.  

I have a natural connection to the spiritual world and metaphysics, and, following my path of authenticity, I've leaned into it to explore its depths. It started simply with yoga, horoscopes, third eye opening, researching empath types, and chakras. That evolved into researching ghosts/spirits/souls; investigations; the afterlife; energy transfer and modification; tarot; life path number; and soul contracts... It's a lot to stumble upon when you have no idea it's there to begin with.

Shoutout to my spirit guides for the hints and signs I still struggle to interpret. Karma motivates me to do the right thing. This is how I talk to my friends and family, and they expect nothing less out of me. I will forever feed my desire to cultivate my spiritual connection by researching and responding to curiosity.

My authenticity is not up for discussion. It wasn't a choice; it's part of who I am. I refuse to apologize for it or modify my choices based on how it may make others feel. Nothing personal, it has nothing to do with anyone but me.

It's just who I am: a technically-minded therapist as chill as the clouds in the sky.

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