our attachment to stuff seems like it may be out of control at this point. I love watching hoarders and figuring out where the trauma is, which honestly it's pretty easy anyway because their stuff typically has a theme. 

I got tripped up the other day wanting to decide whether keeping the jeans would enhance or deteriorate my mental health. I had to let them go; I got rid of the jeans.

And you better believe I felt the pain. Grieving the good, the bad, and what they represent. 

Why was the struggle so great?

They represented my coming of age... I think. I will revisit this during my next session with my therapist. That's the en... wow, just had a moment there. I realized I was just gaslighting myself. Yes, it was my overdue, critically needed, moment of becoming a mature and stable adult. There was a lot of buildup, and most people experience this in their 20's? perhaps? I'm honestly not sure. Maybe it's more of a 30's thing. I did not have the opportunity to create that level of self-development until I was in my 40's. 

Anyway, in some ways it represents my major milestones and significant events leading up to this point in my life, particularly the times in my life that I began speaking up against my abusers. I was 36 when I purchased them, and they quickly became my go-to jean. As in, "Casual work gathering?-we got you; Trip to Wegmans?-No problem!; Netflix and chill?-yup, we're that comfortable!"

We all have that one pair.

I dropped them in the trash suddenly, as if I had come to realize I was holding a handful of snakes. I recognized what the jeans represented. 

I could physically feel the energy thread break, and then snap back as if it were a lasso rebounding. After it settled down, I felt a huge weight begin to slowly fall away; gently, like sand. I can still feel it moving because I'm diving into it again. I bought the jeans because I loved them; they fit so well, and the color was perfect. It was one of the few decisions I made with no outside influence. When someone did offer feedback about them or how they looked, I didn't care. I loved them so much. The years rolled on, and they just got better and better. Other jeans would come and go, but they remained the first choice.

It metoforically represented this tiny little spark in a blocked off, boarded up room. They would give me a spark, occassionally, as I put them on and smoothly zipped them up. It's almost like I was let out just to see how it would respond... like opening a cat cage to see their personality. Are they shy, brave, snuggly, freaked out? It could any these or a combination, right?

The jeans represented a part of me that I was clinging to, something that seemed to make an appearance at times, then go into hiding for long periods. There were times when the part I was clinging to showed up, because I was wearing the jeans that sparked it, because it caught. That small spark lit a stable and bright fire; I no longer need the thing that provided the spark. 

Releasing the jeans feels better than keeping them, and I didn't expect such a dramatic shift in energy. Spirit is always reminding us that everything is energy. This was the most noticable lesson to date. Thank you, Spirit.

This is absolute proof that energy is everywhere, and you must be specific about what is in your environment, because everything contributes to energy. Think carefully about what is it in your environment. Removing an object that provides reminders of a person, event/s, or memories is going to alter the physical impact of your space until you remove it or alter it. Removing the energy is not a disservice to them-it's a disservice to you. It's not "throwing away your memories," or being "petty," "weak," or "holding a grudge." It's a great way to clean your space of negativity and helps the grieving process.

Admititely it gets difficult with heirlooms--something you can use your own discernment on. I would ask myself if it holds memories or perceived value possibly through pressure from family members to hang on to something. It's really about whether it works in your space and you like it. If the answer to the previous question is "no," and it's worth something, I would cash it in. Allow it to be a foundation for something that will facilitate the joy you were hoping for, and not getting. 

It's easy to identify the physical items in your space that you value: if you have ever wallked past a different version of --anything-- to find the one you are looking for, feel free to get rid of all the others because it will free up gross energy, and save space! If a go-to item in it's category needs replacing, at least in the way I approach things, I know I will stop at nothing to ensure I have a perfect replacement by the time I need it next.